2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
