i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
