just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
