No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
