The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize