Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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