garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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