Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
