what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
