why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
