Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
