i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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