i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
