Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
