Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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