Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
