Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
