My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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