OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
