hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
