the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
