A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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