I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
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i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
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Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
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