Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
