go do what you do best...puke behind churches
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
