i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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