You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
