im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
