love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
