I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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