i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It was confusing and full of hummus
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
