Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
