They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
