Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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