Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
