my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
