No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
