Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
