you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I touched a dick in church today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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