in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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