They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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