hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
