Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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