i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
