Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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