I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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