can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
