Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
PANTIES FOUND
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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