I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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