Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
