I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
