Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
