Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You did what with his pubic hair?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
