Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
