don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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