Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
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Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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