Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
