I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
